Traci’s New Book “What If There's More: Finding Significance Beyond Success”
Join us as we celebrate Traci’s new book “What If There's More: Finding Significance Beyond Success” as it covers the strategic life mapping process she personally went through. In this episode, Rob and Traci cover her time at HGTV, leaving to discover her life path, and how you can find your path to finding significance in your life.
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Rob:
So we have a special episode of Overly Human, for you today. And this is a little bit different than we normally do, but it's a big day because Traci's book is launching today. So we wanted to take a chance and just give her a little bit to talk about the book, and why she wrote it, and what's in it, and how you can hear more and all that fun stuff because we know that our listeners like to support the things that we're involved with.
Announcer:
Welcome to the Overly Human Podcast, where we discuss all things human in the workplace. Because it's not just business—it's personal too.
Rob:
All right, let's do it. So introduce the book, the title, kind of what's going on, and all that other fun stuff.
Traci:
Yeah, so the book is called, “What If There's More: Finding Significance Beyond Success” and so excited that you're having this episode with me and letting me kind of talk about it because it has been quite a labor of love. Two years locked in a closet, basically writing this thing nonstop. And as fun as it was to write, it's a lot of work to write a book, but this was my moonshot goal. This was the thing that I've always dreamt of doing and felt like I had a story to tell. And so it's alive now.
Today's the big day, and I'm so excited to talk about it, and hopefully for people to really be able to benefit from the message that I feel it brings.
Rob:
Awesome. All right. So, let's just jump right into it. One of the things, there's a central theme throughout your book is your time at HGTV and how that kind of shaped how you see the world and a lot of your early career experiences.
What was it like to be part of a media company like HGTV from its founding?
Traci:
I mean, it was an amazing ride, and I was really honored to be part of a small team that took a fledgling idea. I mean, HGTV did not exist when I took the job. It was just an idea and there were probably about 25 other networks that launched the same time we did in 1994, and only two survived with HGTV being one of them. And so the odds were against us.
Starting a cable network takes a lot of perseverance, and people always say, "Well, was it so much fun?" And it was fun from building a business perspective, but it was hard work and you had to have a lot of faith that it was going to take off and become something, especially when you saw so many others failing around you.
And so, it's very much a lot of our business owners that listen to this podcast, I learned so much as an entrepreneur being there for almost 20 years, and not only just how to start a business, but how to sustain a business, and also how to scale a business. And I think it was better than any MBA I could have ever gotten.
Just learning the key principles that I take with me when we're working with business owners today, which is, HGTV always had a clear mission, always knew who it wanted to be, never strayed from the brand, always had a clear vision of where we were going, and we were so committed to our core values. How we wanted to behave and act towards each other, really I feel like, shown through on air too.
And so we were able to create this safe, beautiful environment on television as well. And so, yeah, it was fun. And once it grew into this kind of billion-dollar media empire, it turned into a pretty fun job. Pretty glamorous. Got to fly all over the world. Hang out with some pretty fun talent.
Yeah, it was a great, great experience.
Rob:
Yeah. Is there a couple things that you learned that you want to share about creating a successful business from just that fledgling of an idea that you know, you think have become kind of core principles for how you look at the business world today?
Traci:
Yeah. It really framed how I feel about leadership and that it really does matter how the founder and the leaders of the company communicate. And so the founder of HGTV, Ken Lowe, was such a, not just a dynamic warm person, but his excitement and his commitment and his clarity for how he wanted the network to turn out, and also his belief in us as leaders and as a core team, was really what sustained me. And I had great admiration for the idea and for how it was going to be, how it was going to become to come to fruition.
I think in all my years, I had other job offers. And so a lot of times people are like, "Oh my gosh, I can't believe you stayed at the same company for almost 20 years. That's unheard of today." Well, I knew I was somewhere good. And yeah, I did benefit from being one of the founders. But it really was the fact that this team was so committed to mission. And if there's anything that I've taken away from that, and I want other owners and leaders that we work with to value, is the value of your why, and how you should use that as a filter.
I mean, HGTV had so many opportunities to take crazy shows like Golden Girls, or anything to kind of bring on and boost the ratings, and it would've been so easy for us to do that and try to spin a way to justify that, and it would've completely altered the way the network looked.
I talk about that in the book, about these principles and about how HGTV really executed these principles, and how you can use them not just for your business, but for your life. So yeah, I try to tell these stories and I try to use these principles when we're talking to companies about how to scale because I just think they're so important, and if you lose sight of this, that you can really derail the trajectory of your company.
Rob:
So I know from knowing you for as many years as we've been friends, that you really valued your time at HGTV, but everybody who's listening to this show knows you eventually left.
So what eventually made you step away from that role? And was that? Talk about that moment because I'm sure that was this thing that you probably consider pretty pivotal in your growth and your career and your life.
Traci:
It was kind of an unexpected sort of crossroads that I came to and it was in my forties and I was stretched really thin. I was flying all over the country, if not the world. Working really hard, had a ton of responsibility. I mean the television industry and working for a television network as fun as it was, is no picnic. It was a high-stress environment. I had budgets that were hundreds of millions of dollars and we were a publicly traded company. So all the things that come with that was very stressful.
And then I had two kids at home. Two little girls and married and it was kind of crazy because by society's standards, I would be told I was at the top of my game and I had it all.
I had checked off all the boxes and was confused why I didn't feel satisfied, why I felt restless, and why I felt kind of nervous and stressed. And I think I felt like nobody was getting the best parts of me. That my team at work wasn't getting the best of me. My kids getting the best of me. My husband. I was just stretched too thin.
And then also, I had all these questions in my head. Who am I outside of this identity? Who am I outside of HGTV? And if I look ahead in my life and people are living longer and living healthier longer—if they choose to live to be healthy—so if I'm going to have decades more of my career ahead of me, what do I want that to look like? Do I want to stay here? Do I want to leave? Do I want to start something of my own? And I could not answer those questions in the environment I was in. It was, I just couldn't find a way to take a pause.
And so I just up and quit, which was crazy. I can't tell you how many people called and told me I was crazy. How my bosses were bewildered. My coworkers were shocked. It was... And even I was shocked and scared. It wasn't like this easy thing, "Oh, I think I'm going to quit." It was really hard and there were tears and nervousness, and I wasn't really sure I was doing the right thing. But I went with my gut and I said, "You know what? I'm just going to take a leap of faith and spend more time with my kids and be more intentional and figure this whole thing out."
Rob:
That's a really hard thing to do because change is one of those things that's really interesting when you start…There's so many people just afraid of the unknown and jumping headfirst into it.
Is there something that gave you comfort in that? What was your hint that this was something that was going to be okay?
Traci:
Well, I have a strong faith and I feel like I just felt internally that I would land on my feet. So even if it turned out to be a mistake, I could pivot. And the people I worked with were gracious in that the door is always open. You can come back, even though I would've never gotten my old job back. I knew what I was doing was very detrimental to my career in television, that it would be very hard to turn back.
But I also knew that I was not being challenged. That I had kind of gotten to this place and so many of my clients will tell me this too, where you…it's confusing because you can feel like bored and kind of stagnant. And I think I felt that, and I knew that I didn't want to wake up when I was 60 and be like, "Okay, my kids were out the door and I don't feel like I've lived a very connected life."
And so all that being said, I mean, the day after my last day at work, I felt naked. Completely exposed. Completely naked. I wandered around the house, what am I going to do? And what I found on the other side was that those questions I was wrestling with were a lot harder to answer than I thought they were going to be.
And that's what led me to the book. I mean, that's what led me to writing the book that frankly, I wish I had had when I was sitting in that moment, back in my forties.
Rob:
Have you ever had any regrets about leaving?
Traci:
No. I feel like only because of the life I've built and designed up to this point and what I want to do, moving from here. Are there things I miss? Absolutely. I miss the people. I miss the expense account. I miss the fun events. But I had so much of that and the company's not the same. It's been bought and sold twice since I've left, so it's not the same place.
So I can look back and say, "Yeah, there are elements that I look back on fondly and people that I truly admire and love." But I really take the friendships that I make at work seriously. I don't think of them as just temporary. And so all of those people that I'm friends with and that we're mentors I'm still in touch with today. So, I've been able to keep those elements.
And that's why I always say to my clients, or if I'm speaking, leave well. Leave well. And don't lose contact with people because you should really think of your workmates as real relationships and hopefully ones that you will take with you for a long time. And some of those relationships have served me well in the business world as an entrepreneur, or even launching this book, and I never thought I would lean on those relationships or need any people to help me or mentor me again.
But rest assured, those relationships are super valuable and I've been able to call on people for advice and help, and man, they're just as insightful and intelligent and helpful as they were back when I was growing up the business.
Rob:
Well, it's that time again where we thank our sponsor, the Bureau of Digital, a community of digital makers that all get together and share and support each other. And today we have a special treat. Carl, the head of the Bureau is here with us. Hey, Carl.
Carl:
Hey everybody. Thank you for having me be on the show. We don't sponsor any other podcasts, and when I listened to what y'all were doing, I was like, we need to support them. We need to find a way that we can help. So I was like, "Ah, we'll be a sponsor."
Rob:
And we really do appreciate it. And if you have any questions, check out bureauofdigital.com. The 2023 event schedule is up and live, and a big change for this year is if you join and become a member, all of the online events are included—and there's some really good ones. You don't want to miss out. So don't wait. Visit bureauofdigital.com.
Rob:
All right, so one of the things you talk about, and we've talked about it a couple times, is this whole idea of can, specifically women, have it all? And I know this is something that you're pretty passionate about and you've got some ideas, and I'd love to hear you talk a little bit about why that was so influential for this book and this moment in your life and this career change.
Traci:
I think I've talked to so many people since I left HGTV that have had very similar feelings where you're in these jobs, big jobs, or you have a lot of responsibility, and you feel guilty. You have all this guilt and all these expectations and it seems to resonate more with women. And the conversations I tend to have, not that men don't suffer from the stress or from expectations and from all that they feel responsible for, that definitely holds true.
But for women, it's different because we have been—especially people that are my generation—grew up in this environment with people constantly telling us, "You can have it all. You can have it all. Women can have it all. You need to break the glass ceiling. You need to be the... If you're the only one in the boardroom, you need to show up. You need to show up well."
And so there is this expectation that I grew up with in corporate America that I had to not just, I could have it all, I should have it all, and I should do it well. And it's almost like I was carrying this banner of feminism for everybody. And so don't mess up. Make sure you're fighting for your space.
And then also, women, especially in corporate America, can feel like there's only room for one of us. And I know when I speak to other minority groups, they feel the same way. Who's going to be the one person that gets to be in the boardroom? And a lot has changed in recent years, but that was my experience going through. And so there was a certain level of expectation, weight that you're caring, where you're thinking, "Well, I better show up. Well, not just for myself, but for my career and for all womankind."
And then women, especially moms, just that maternal role and that how you want to just be present and available for your children. And not that men don't want that too, but there tends to be a common theme. It's not completely universal, where there's a lot of weight and expectations on the mom and so then you're also fighting against that. This weirdness between you're at the elementary school and you've got the stay-at-home moms and you've got the working moms, and what does that feel like? Oh, is there a little division there?
And so there's all these weird messages and things that you come up against. And so I had to redefine all that for myself. It was interesting to go from this high-powered working mom position to then having a period of time of being kind of a stay-at-home mom and kind of infiltrating and having a little intel on both worlds was really fascinating.
So yeah, I think what I tell women now that I coach and leaders especially is, do not feel like you should have it all, because that will translate to, do it all, be it all. And that is really hard for us, physically, mentally.
What we need to do is just decide what we need. Have what you need. Don't have it all. You don't need it all. You just need what you need. And so understand what those priorities are and design a life that is going to take you in that direction, so you know what to say no to, and what to say yes to, and let go of the guilt. Put those expectations aside. We do not need to place ourselves under so much pressure that we cannot breathe.
Rob:
Yeah. It sounds like one of the things that's right under the covers of what you're talking about is this idea of sustainability and how to do that, right? Is that part of that?
Traci:
Yeah. And too, for me, I think, and I write about this in the book because I really do feel like this is the most important thing that I discovered, is that my identity does not rest in what I do, or what I accomplish, or my title, or my salary. What it rests in is who I am. And you can only hold true to that if you know who you are.
So if you don't have a finger on the pulse of who you are today, which is very different than who we were when we graduated from college, and we were at that major crossroads. And so the book provides a framework for answering these big questions. How did I get to where I am today? Who am I today? And what do I want for my future? Where do I want to go? And if you can answer those big questions with accuracy, it's going to give you the confidence to let go of placing your identity, in your job, placing your identity in your company.
And this holds true whether you work for, you have a big title or whether you are the owner of a company. Because man, I coach a lot of owners, and we can get so messed up in our heads with the weight of our staff and trying to reach a certain level of profitability, and you can't shut it off. And many of us are working from home, and we have trouble just leaving our laptop in our office and closing the door. And so it's never-ending, and we forget who we are. We forget how to show up well.
And so this book has a framework for really going deep when it comes to defining your unique talents and understanding what your current passions are and what your own personal core values are, and unique purpose and how that informs what you do.
And especially as business owners, when you can answer those questions personally, and you can apply that to your business, oh my gosh, it's completely transformative. Like you, especially for business owners who have gotten to a place where they're sustaining their business or they want to scale their business, they need to be a different type of owner than they were when they were first starting out. And so you're no longer this scrappy little startup type of entrepreneur. You're a leader. Okay. That freaks a lot of people out, right? They're like, "I'm a leader. Well, what does that mean? How do I show up? I don't understand. I don't want to do this." And you see owners kind of have this breakdown where all they want to do is go back to being a practitioner. Go back to that scrappy entrepreneur where they felt safe with just a few people. And so sometimes they just tap out and start another company because they just don't like the feeling of having to lead well.
But if you understand what your unique talents are and how you show up as a leader, we all show up differently. We all have unique talents and when we can understand that, oh my gosh, it really, I see people just completely shift their perspective and embrace leadership at this stage in their business. So it's so interesting to me how strategic planning principles really can solve so many problems, for us personally and then how that feeds into what we do professionally.
And for some people that come to me, it's not a pivot. They don't leave their job. They actually fall back in love with their job or fall back in love with their company and that's a beautiful site too. So some of us aren't meant to tap out and start something new. Some of us are. Some of us have dreams that have been just bugging us and tapping on our shoulder over and over and over again, and we try to ignore it. And going through this process of creating a strategic life map has been so freeing to some people because they're able to say, "All right, I'm going to go for it. I'm finally going to go for it."
Rob:
Yeah. All right. So here's a softball for you.
Who should read the book, “What If There's More?” Who's it written for? Who's the audience?
Traci:
Oh, well, I will of course will believe that everybody should read it. But it's really for anybody who feels like they don't have the answers to these questions, or would like to really redefine them for themselves. They want to rediscover who they are and they want to reimagine their future.
So if you are at a crossroads, you might feel like these questions are really front and center. I think that this book is really going to help you get unstuck. It's going to help you imagine the future you want, so that then you can just let go and live. And it's going to help whoever feels like life is living them, instead of them living life.
And if you're not there yet, if you don't feel that pain yet, I also think this book is good for you because man, avoid the pain. Figure it out now.
And for the business owner that feels disconnected from their business, and wants to align their beliefs, their why, their passions with their business, I also think that this will be a great book for them to read because there are a lot of business principles in it, that I think will help not just their life, but their company.
So, that sounds like for everybody. But yeah, I just believe in the message, and I really, really hope that mainly it'll help people redefine success because the constant exhausting, unattainable pursuit of success, I mean, there will always be somebody who makes more than us, has a bigger title than us, has a bigger company than we do, and it's just, they call it a rat race for a reason. And I really want people to redefine success on their terms. Not society's terms, or not their friends' terms, or their parents' terms, but their terms. And when we do that, that's the key to making the pivot from a pursuit of success to a pursuit of significance.
And I really feel like when you can get a handle on how you can have a positive impact on the world around you, then you want to get out of bed in the morning and you'll show up better and you'll feel more present, and you'll be excited about your future. And you won't think, "Oh, I'm over the hill." Or, "Everything's downhill from here." You'll actually be reinvigorated to... For the life ahead and really lean into how your significant impact and that legacy you hope to leave behind. So it can be...
If everybody went through this process, our broken, fractured divided world, maybe just maybe, would get a little bit closer.
Rob:
Yeah, me too.
Traci:
I feel like we, especially as business owners and leaders, we just kind of need to lean into ways that we're going to bring each other closer together than further apart because I think a lot of us are just exhausted. Exhausted from that and we want things to change. And especially post-pandemic and all the things and I think I know that sentiment is what kept me going, when writing was hard and when putting the book together is hard, and even putting myself out there, which is very awkward, is hard. I just hold on to that premise and that idea of just, if I could just shine a teeny tiny little bit of good in my little corner of the world, then I'll feel good, happy.
Rob:
Yeah. All right. So now that we've established this book is for everyone, how does everyone get their hands on the copy of it? Today's launch day?
Traci:
Today's launch day, and guess what? We have discounted pricing on Amazon. So you can go to amazon.com and buy the book there. And I mean, you can buy the book anywhere. So, if you want different links, you can go to my website, TraciSchubertBarrett.com, and we have links to all the booksellers, or you can go to booksellers.
But if you guys like it, please leave a review because that really helps spread the word, spread the message, and that's really my hope. So yeah. Just today's the day. There'll be discounted pricing all week, so if you don't get to it today, put it in your calendar to get to it tomorrow.
But yeah, I really, really thank you for all your support, Rob. I mean, you have been such a cheerleader for me over the last couple of years, and when I'm saying there were a couple times before we logged onto the podcast where I was like, "I don't think I can do this anymore." Or, "I'm overwhelmed." Or, "Publisher told me I have to cut 20,000 words," and it just all of those things, and you were like, "Nope. Nope. You can do it." And I really, really appreciate it, and I don't think this day would've been possible without your help and your support and the support of all the wonderful people in my life. So, thank you.
Rob:
You're welcome. I'll tell you the same thing I've told you for the last couple years. You got this.
Traci:
Thank you. Those were the words I needed to hear so many times, and I always appreciate hearing them.
Rob:
So yeah, thanks for listening. Go check out Traci's book, leave a review. Appreciate y'all.
